I think I know the answer to this question already, but I'm going to ask you anyway. You tweeted those out, that's how you feel, then right after that, you would take and leave from ESPN. I was suspended, you can say if you want. You were suspended from ESPN and then what happened? Hold on. Let's get it right, because I don't want people to think, she didn't get suspended for the season 2017, she tweeted out that Donald Trump was a white supremacists. You didn't get suspended for that, you got talked about or you got talked to for that for. I got talked to for that, yes. Two weeks later after you say somebody, Jerry Jones. That's when I got suspended. That's when you got suspended, but it was based on what you said before. It's like a make up call. Your make up call All right. We let you get away with that home right tab, but now we're going to have to get you for something else. Do you feel now that you would have done anything different? No, I wouldn't. Hell if anything, I wish I would've added them. You're not afraid of. I'm a person, I don't really believe in regrets. Even if things don't necessarily come out in a favorable way, that's because one decision leads you to another. If I don't do that, I'm not sitting here with you right now. I'm not in LA, hell, I don't even know if I'm married, you know what I'm saying? It's a chain reaction that happens. To stop one thing and reverse something or to not do something differently, would have been changing the course of my life. I might still be at ESPN, which I think long time was not the place that it needed to be. That's why I could never regret what happened even though, as I've said before, and I continue to say, the hard part for me to grapple with was the collateral damage that it did to some of my friends and some people that I care about. That's the part that will never sit right with me in particular, as you know, my co-host, Michael Smith, is that the things he had to deal with as a result of that, were not fair to him or to his career. I want to talk about that in just a second, but right now we got a question or comment from the audience. Jemele, I follow you across all media, and you're not just the greatest journalist in sports media, but to me in media overall. You was going to say that right my face. Look, I would like to think as her brother you would love that, is that right? That's a extraordinary complement. Thank you. I want to pay that to you first and foremost, but really I want to know when and how did you cultivate that sense of just unflappable, just sense of justice and integrity that you seem to have. I never looked at it like a superpower. I didn't get bit by a radioactive spider, it wasn't like that, but I think it's just life experiences. It's like growing up where I grew up. As I mentioned, I grew up in Detroit. I'm the child of recovering drug addicts, and a lot of the trauma I faced as a child was deep and significant. Because I had to already deal with that, the president tweeting about me and calling for me to be fired, that ain't nothing. That ain't the worst thing I've seen, that wouldn't make my top 20 list. Knowing that, and Mike I'm sure you've heard this when you're at ESPN, is that when you come to someplace like ESPN or rather any big entity, you better know who you are before you walk through the door. I knew who I was before I walked through the door, so the noise and all the things that happened as a result of being there, were never going to change who I was. I guess to answer your question, it's just something that I just really have to credit to God because I don't know, it's nothing that I did. I've always been this way, I haven't been different. This is the only thing I know and the only way I know how to be, I cannot be someone else. I'm glad you said that because you stay true to yourself, and that's one of the things I've always admired about you and Stuart Scott. You guys, no matter what they told you, when you was at ESPN because you know how it is at ESPN, it's a factory. A lot of times they condition you and mold you into something they want you to be. Nothing against ESPN, I want people to think I'm bitter about anything happening or what not, but I told you, I asked you this question I say if I would have asked you 14,15 years ago when we first met, who would've gotten suspended first about something that came out of their mouth, me or you? It was you. It wasn't even it close and if you would have done a poll of all the [inaudible] really the producers, whatever, Mike Hill would have finished in the top three, if not be number 1. It was definitely you, because we had those talks so often about trying to find the balance between being what they want you to be and being yourself. It's not just drama in the ESPN, this industry period has a way of making you, and especially if you're black, making you feel like you're not enough. You go through that a lot and it makes you question who you are. There were times where I went through that exact semblance, but I was just too stubborn to ain't listen. Being way I looked at it is because I was not somebody who got into journalism to be a broadcaster. I was a writer first, I was a print journalist for 10 years before I ever got to ESPN. That was my identity was writing. TV didn't mean anything to me. I mean, I enjoyed doing it, but I was not one of those people who lived every day to be on television. The way that I looked at it, and by an extension, my former television partner and good friend, Michael Smith, the way we looked at it is like, you could take this or leave it. If you intend on changing us, we're not going to change, but what we can do is change being on the show. We always had that mentality that if we were going go down, if we were going to be a failure, we're going to be a failure on our terms, not theirs. I love that. That's just what it was. Give it up. That's amazing, but would you say that that's the piece of advice that you would give to women of color coming up in the industry who want to be sports entertainment journalist or just like you say, in the industry period? I would. I mean, I would tell them that understand that, given that there are certain industry trends that are just a staple, if you're a black woman, you ain't white and you ain't blonde, and those things aren't changing, well one of those, you can be blonde. You can be blonde. You ain't going to be white. But you can be white either. I'm just saying. I just saw a photo of Kim Kardashian who's apparently [inaudible]. She got a hell of a team. But bottom line is that if you spend and consume yourself with trying to be what they want you to be, you will be very unhappy. I'm not going to say you trying to be yourself comes without its own issues. Like you mentioned Stuart Scott. For a lot of people, and I understood it, who had been friends with Stu, who supported his career, it was a little hard to take to see the way that ESPN flipped the script is that he was denounced. The style that he brought to SportsCenter was not welcome. Everybody knows this. For then to later become a staple and for him to become an icon for being himself, it was a great model and example for the rest of us, about even when it looks as if you might be out of a job for being yourself, you should still be yourself because that's the only way you're going to be happy. The only time I ever have regret, I mention I don't really traffic in regret, but the only time I would ever have regret, is if I knew that I didn't go out being myself. If I felt like I was too much what somebody else wanted me to be or was too compromising, that's not going to sit with me well. I can deal with any outcome as long as I felt like it was an outcome that I chose. I love that you stuck with it and I told you I admire you for that. I was the punk. I punked out. Let me be honest with you. I told you when I had the meeting, and I had a family at the time, and all that stuff, I went in one way and I came out another way. It's taken me years to actually get back to the Mike Hill I was before ESPN because they condition you a certain way as person. I told you the story when I met with this talent guy, [inaudible] , who we love, God rest his soul. He told me straight up he was about to retire. He said, "Mike, you would move up faster, but they think you're too ghetto. " Straight up. They told me as a black man, I'm too ghetto. I've said this before, and I don't have any bitterness towards ESPN because that's the first thing they run to is that, and they said, "They already have one of those." Meaning they already had Stuart Scott. They already had a black guy there. They tell you not to change but you didn't change. Once again, I admire you for that. But you've mentioned something about everything you went through when you went with the Trump tweet and you said that the collateral damage, and how it affected Michael or not. How did it affect Michael? Well, he was left to man the ship, I mean, really, because it was a crazy, crazy day because once the tweets, once they went viral and they really started picking up steam, I would see there was some behind closed doors conversations about whether or not that should be on air. I'll be quite honest, what I think honestly saved me was black people. That's what saved me, and in particular black athletes. Because Dwayne Wade, he tweeted his support. Colin Kaepernick did. Kevin Durant, he sent me a direct message. I've never met Kevin Durant. A lot of them, viral or socially on social media, were riding for me. I am pretty positive, I know that a lot of people that make those kind of decisions saw that. They knew that they would have a bigger problem if they took me off-air, than if they kept me on. Was there anybody that you would think, like a black person, that should have support you, you thought would support you, railed against you? Because you heard from the Trump supporters, obviously. Was there anybody that you were surprised that they took the other side? No. Look, and again, this is part of the collateral damage. It was for a very long time after that, a lot of my colleagues were asked about me, whenever was supposed to be pieces that were about them, but the media journalists were curious, so they would ask me what they thought. I was not surprised that the people who thought I should've been suspended, I'm okay with that because they're allowed their own opinion. I didn't think them to be bad people. They don't have to live my life and I don't have to live theirs. It's just like, "Oh, okay, that's fine." It wasn't going to make my life any more difficult than it was. But when those things happen, honestly, you just don't give a whole lot of thought, at least I don't, to the people who didn't say anything. I was more concentrated and more grateful for the people who did because it did offer me a layer of protection, and Mike was one of those people, my co-host. When I first got suspended, they wanted him to do the show without me, and he refused. He refused. If it would have been up to him, I think my whole suspension probably wouldn't have done it. But, he was just based on the position we were in, and he had to go back to work. We've had a number of long talks about this, so I'm not speaking out of school. But I apologized to him even though he didn't ask for an apology, because I sent his career in another direction. See when Mike walked into work the day of those tweets. He wasn't expecting that less than six months later, neither one of us would be on Sports Center. Okay? So I send his career there just based off something I did. Now I don't regret what I did and I don't apologize for it and he wouldn't expect me to, but I wanted to at least acknowledge to him, hey I know I messed you up. At that point, I'm a single woman. He is a husband and he has three kids. He has much different responsibilities than me. I felt like I would be a terrible friend if I didn't at least tell him, dude, I'm sorry, you didn't ask for this. I wish this could be something singularly I could experience. But unfortunately, we were joined at the hip. I know his radar, so he probably would accept the apology- No. I mean, he thought I was crazy to apologize. The fact that he acknowledged it though he was willing. Yeah. But I wanted him to know that I'm self-aware enough to know the ripple effects of what this did, and even though he, as he knew that before the Trump tweet even happened, I was very unhappy at Sports Center. We knew both of us were unhappy, it wasn't just me. I knew my days were numbered on that show because my level of enjoyment was not there. I know to some people this may sound really bizarre given the institution that Sports Center is, but that's the worst job I had at ESPN, and nothing is even close. Even when I did sideline reporting, which was a very hard job, hard is different than bad. Yeah. Yeah. But Sports Center was the worst job I had. Tell us what that last day was like. Now, the last day on Sports Center or the last day period? Last day period. Maybe this is just a woman thing, but they say that before you break up with somebody, you've been thinking about it for at least six months. Yeah. I had been thinking for a while. It was already emotionally disconnected. Mentally I had already left the relationship. So there was a part of it that I was a little wistful about it just because ESPN is the longest job I've ever had, I was there 12 years. It is the best job I've ever had and much like any relationship that you have for 12 years, you go through your ups and downs. But it was great and I would not have changed any of that experience for anything. But the last day, it felt like it was time, it was time to move on. We had reached our ceiling. Yeah. Yeah. There was nothing else I wanted to do there. There was nothing else, I don't think they wanted me to do there, to be perfectly honest. Even though a week before I'd actually left, we talked about some other options of things that I could do. I didn't get the feeling that they were kicking me out the door. So it wasn't like that. But it just felt like it was time that I had graduated from ESPN and it was time to do me. Right. You know I had to say feeling but at the same time, there's still here are those four letters behind your name for so many years. You had it for 12, I had it for nine going on 10 years. So there's that security there and plus it's ESPN, you got that in your resume. So there is a little feeling a little scared okay, what's next? Even though you know better things on the horizon, there's a little fear that you have. This is the show where you keep it real, right? Yeah, keep it real. You know I left with a check, right? Oh, I know yeah. I'm just saying you know I left with money. I left with a check too though. So there was no fear. Fear would have been, can I pay my rent next month? I know but at the same time, it's like when you leave it's almost like okay, you get this- Yeah. This platform. Right. You know how it is and people are always talking about, how could you leave ESPN, how could you do this, how could you do better, whatever First of all, it really wasn't my choice. At the same time, it's like, okay, I want to do something, but I want to make sure that it's something that is as good as I was doing at ESPN. Comment because I want to prove to them like, I don't really need you. I'm doing better without them. Like you say it was a blessing in disguise when I left because I wouldn't be in a position I am right now. I won't be seen here, I wouldn't be talking to you, I wouldn't be next to Chelsea. I wouldn't be with the lady of my dreams, thinking about getting married next year if it wasn't for me leaving ESPN. That's a great answer. Much like with relationships, there was no one I'd left that I ever look back at. So when I left, I had a really good sense of myself. I was at peace about it. I wasn't worried about not having the four letters behind me because ESPN never defined me. There are people there who feel like they are defined by ESPN and I was never one of those. So I had the Stockholm syndrome. Yeah, I mean, honestly, because if people come asking me all the time and one of my favorites is when people say, oh, I watch your show all the time. I'm like, oh, what time does it come on? I'd be really curious. Yeah. Since I haven't been there for over a year. No. I mean, I think a big part of why I didn't miss it and don't because I get asked all the time like people will say, oh, I miss seeing you on TV and like that makes one of us because I just don't miss it. Maybe it was because when I left I was under the circumstances where things had gotten toxic for me just in the sense that I felt like this radioactive element at ESPN that they didn't know what to do with. Every time I wanted to do anything, it was like a 30-person email chain, it was like, all right, I'm out on this. So I was starting to feel constricted, not based off things I was actually doing but at the perception of who I was and so that.