Remembering that prosody is our goal. you go back and you check stuff so that
the line that that we just worked on, with the unstable tone, with the D, I
hear you moan, I hear you laugh. commented that the, that the D on laugh,
colored the word laughter into something that was not quite happy laugh.
but it also occurred to me because I am addicted to prosody that that maybe the
word moan might go in that end line position.
and so I thought I would give it a try and see what happened.
[MUSIC] and then think about the consequences.
[MUSIC] Make your way between the cracks. [MUSIC] I hear you laugh, I hear you
moan. [MUSIC] Singing as you pass.
That feels pretty moany to me. and what it does is it colors singing as
you pass with a moan also. but you know, I was attracted to it
simply because, maybe, maybe, moan in that position deserves the D more than
laugh does. What do you think?
What do you think? and that's that's of course always a
question which really is a question of, how does it feel?
How does it feel? To me, it felt like too much.
But once you say, well maybe, then you've got to think about other thing.
Okay. Well, what's happening is that I had this
rhyme scheme of cracks, laugh, pass in in sort of shortening lines.
which felt to me nice and accelerated and pushing forward.
And if I go you make your way between the cracks.
I hear you laugh, I hear you moan. Singing as you pass.
Oh Ho, so now, the O and the Ho, the Hobo Wind, because of the moan out there at
the end of the line, feels like it gets a little boost.
But I think it gets the same boost on the inside.
What, of course, that would mean if I put moan out there on the end of that line,
on the D, is that I would have to then try to revise the rhyme scheme of verse 2
and verse 3. Now, this is the beauty of using a
worksheet, that I have that long O column that moan came from.
And the reason that I have the long O column is because of the word Hobo.
And it seems to me like wherever I put that long O, the the whole of Hobo is
going to be boosted. So that I tried it and took a little
quick run at what would happen if I tried to put that long O sound at the end of
the fourth line of verse 2, and again at the fourth line of verse 3.
And tried it out and thought well, you know, that's fine.
But I really like burying the moan inside the line for two reasons.
One, because I like laugh, still with that note, the D, as an adjective for it.
and secondly, I don't want moan to be such a huge sound at the end of that line
on the D, that it overtakes the wind in Hobo Wind.
it seems like it really pushes the Hobo up a little too high.
So, I decided to keep the moan where we had it.
[MUSIC] And listen to what it does to Hobo where it is.
[MUSIC] Make your way between the cracks. [MUSIC] I hear you moan, I hear you
laugh. [MUSIC] Singing as you pass.
[MUSIC] O Hobo Wind. [MUSIC] Hobo wind.
That seemed to me to be fine. but given that, I thought, wow, that's
really great putting that long O in that position.
Bearing it does do nice things for the Hobonis, Hobonicity, the Hobonis of of
the, of the, of the wind. So then I then went on a little scavenger
hunt in my long O's to see if I could duplicate that in verse 2 and verse 3,
and found some things that I thought worked fairly well.
So that once you really get this melody thing going, then you're going to start
making adjustments. How does it work here?
How does it work here? Maybe this, maybe that.
So that the more stuff you have to put together, the more interesting the
webbing becomes, particularly this thing which we could call the Sonic Fabric
becomes. And then, we can start weaving our sounds
in and out of each other. And changing some of our ideas in order
to create the sonic fabric, but remember, that the ideas are the most important
thing.
