Questions I think is a very powerful tool and should be used with a bit of caution.
So let me give you couple of things not to do while you're asking questions,
in no particular order.
Thing number one, please do not start with questions and expect the answer.
What I mean by that, you can start with rhetorical questions,
these are perfectly fine.
But rhetorical questions do not give the audience that pause
to voice out their opinions.
You can do like Simon Sinek did, just start asking questions,
that's perfectly okay.
But please do not walk on the stage, and go, hello,
guys, please raise your arm, who does this and that.
I've seen this quite a few times while sitting in
the audience, and my impulse is to resist.
I think that the speaker is trying to manipulate me into helping him,
into doing all the work for him, and I think this is unfair.
And I go, wait a second, cowboy, I don't like you just yet,
give me something, and then expect me to answer.
And I see that about two-thirds of the audience react the same way.
Statistically speaking, they should be raising their arms for
that kind of a question, but they don't.
And this, I think, is an opportunity missed,
you are eliminating half of the audience right away.
So please do not start with questions and expect an answer.
Thing number two, do not wait for too long before asking.
I think you should be asking after maybe three or four minutes.
Because after ten minutes, in my experience,
people settle in this comfortable, TV watching mode.
Where there's no interaction going on between the speaker and the audience.
So when you start asking questions after ten minutes, people get startled.
It takes a lot of time for them to warm up after
that huge period of no brain activity inside.
Please do not wait for too long, go ahead and
start asking, just do not start asking right away.
Thing number three, please do not start with open ended questions.
I think the audience needs to be warmed up a little bit,
start with a show of hands question.
Open ended questions are dangerous, they provoke discussions.
Let the steam out first with closed questions, and
then ask open ended questions.
Thing number four, please do not start with highly personal questions,
with questions that require highly revealing answers.
I cannot walk in the audience and ask, okay, guys,
what problems do you have with presentations?
Let me help you.
No one will answer me, I need to share my own experience first,
my own problems, my own failures.
My own successes, probably, and
then expect people to share back, it's a reciprocity thing.
I give them something, they give me something,
I cannot expect too much of a credit on their part.
Share first, ask second.
The next thing, and this is an advanced thing, few people actually do this.
Please try not to attack people with questions and what I mean by that is.
Sometimes there are people in the audience giving you an intensive negative feedback.
Sometimes, there's a guy or a girl sitting right in front of you and
looking like this, with obvious anger or maybe sadness in their eyes.
And it's very tempting, well, for me, that is, maybe not for
you, to go and ask them, what's wrong?
I mean, come on, why are you sitting like this?
Stuff like that, and sometimes I'm phrasing it really politely.
Sometimes I have enough care, enough compassion,
sometimes I do ask this in a way that does not provoke an aggressive response.
Sometimes it's, I'm sorry, are you feeling all right?
But, what I suggest you do is, first, you ask for permission.
You first go, I'm sorry, can I ask you a question?
And then, ask them a question about the contents of your speech,
rather than about their emotional state.
And then try to guess their emotional state
from the way they respond to that question.
And maybe then asking a question about their emotional state.
Because, well, most people, obviously,
are not willing to share their personal situations.
And the end result of this conversation should be either them
changing their emotional state.
Or them going, I just had a tough day, do not worry about me, its all right.
And this is how you know you're now friends with this person, and
you can sort of let them go, and they stop eating your attention.
This is a way to diffuse the situation.
Thing number four, and I've said this already, please do not ignore the answers.
This is a very widespread mistake, so I think it's worth repeating.
Please take good care of the people answering your questions,
they don't owe anything to you.
So even if their answer is long, acknowledge it, saying, well, okay,
all right, that's an opinion.
And then move on, do not move on too quickly.
Acknowledge or negate people, you can sometimes negate people, but
please do not ignore people.
I don't quite agree with you, but let's hear other members of the group.
I think this is okay, thank you for
your opinion is perfectly okay, but ignoring people is not okay.
Especially if somebody is raising their arm for
the third minute wanting to be heard.
It's very rude, very impolite not to give a voice to this person.
So to conclude, things not to do.
Please do not start with questions and expect the answers.
Once again, you can start with rhetorical questions.
Please do not wait for more than ten minutes,
because otherwise the audience settles in the passive watching mode.
Please do not start with open questions,
warm up the audience with closed questions first.
Please do not start with highly personal questions.
Do not expect people to share their problems just because
you walked into the room.
Share first, ask second.
Please do not attack people with questions.
Sure, those people started it first, they gave you that look,
but please do not use questions to attack people.
And finally, for God's sake, please do not ignore the answers.
This is the greatest mistake the speaker, whoever is asking questions might make.
And finally, please do not manipulate the audience.
Please do not expect them to give the answer you want them to give.
This is the most pathetic scene of them all.
The speaker is scanning the audience,
expecting for at least someone to give the proper answer.
Please be open, whatever happens, let it happen.
Thank you.
