You will gain a foundation for college-level writing valuable for nearly any field. Students will learn how to read carefully, write effective arguments, understand the writing process, engage with others' ideas, cite accurately, and craft powerful prose. Course Learning Objectives • Summarize, analyze, question, and evaluate written and visual texts • Argue and support a position • Recognize audience and disciplinary expectations • Identify and use the stages of the writing process • Identify characteristics of effective prose • Apply proper citation practices • Discuss applying your writing knowledge to other writing occasions
Visual Analysis Writing Workshop
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Del curso dictado por Duke University
English Composition I
302 calificaciones
De la lección
Project 1: Visual Analysis
This week, the central topic is visual images in academic writing. The goal is to practice interpreting and writing about images convincingly. Plus, Dr. Comer will help you think about what area of inquiry you would like to focus on in this course and what it means to write a draft. Finally, you will write your visual analysis and learn how to give meaningful feedback.
Conoce a los instructores
Dr. Denise ComerAssistant Professor of the Practice; Director of First-Year Writing
Thompson Writing Program
Hi. Welcome.
I'm Denise Comer and this is English Composition 1, Achieving Expertise.
This is a writing workshop for project 1, which was a visual analysis
on a subject or topic or theme of your choice.
And, I'm joined today by two learners from our MOOK,
which is offered in partnership between Duke University and Coursera.
I'm joining you from Duke University but let's first turn to
our two writers in the workshop and if you could introduce yourselves and
tell us where you are joining the call from today.
>> I'm Deepti and I'm calling from.
>> Hi Deepti, welcome, thank you.
Hi, I'm Bowen.
I'm joining you from Austin, Texas.
>> Hi welcome Bowen.
Thanks for joining us.
So, as I said we're workshopping two people's writing projects.
This is being recorded for other participants in the course to watch later.
It's also being live-streamed.
And, if you are enrolled in English Composition One,
you can access the drafts for Bowen and Deepti on
the forums where the workshop volunteers were, and so you can follow along with us.
I'm going to go over, very briefly,
the criteria that we're going to be using to look at these drafts.
This is a first draft.
And then, after today's workshop Bowen and Deepti will revise their
essays also with the feedback that they get from the peer assessment tool.
But, we have several different criteria that have been named on the project
assignment sheet and so I'm just going to read through those really quickly so
they can be fresh in our minds and then we'll start with Deepti's draft and
we'll workshop your writing.
So the grading criteria that we're thinking about, and
again we're not grading, but that we're going to be giving feedback towards,
are asking whether the writer has analyzed the image thoroughly,effectively used
the image to support and develop their own argument, effectively integrated evidence
in the form of details about the image or a quotes or paraphrases where necessary.
Has the writer employed scholarly conventions for citing sources?
Has the writer organized the essay clearly?
Are the paragraphs developed in such a way that they achieve paragraph unity?
And, is there an effective title on the piece?
Another criteria is revising deeply, but that will be the part that comes next.
So, okay, so we have Deepti's paper here and
I'd like to ask you to read it aloud, Deepti please, and then Bowen and I will
maybe take 30 seconds of quiet time to just collect our thoughts for feed back.
He and I have both already read your paper but
it's really good to read aloud for writers.
You'll catch things that you otherwise might not have.
Before you read aloud, Deepti,
can you share with us what your primary concerns are as a writer?
As writers, we usually know what we'd like feedback on, especially,
it could be one of these criteria or something else all together, so,
what would you like feedback on?
>> I would especially like feedback on my claims?
Clearly spread them out or does it meet the criteria of being an effective claim?
And, how [INAUDIBLE], >> Working
evidences that sound, that are good, that are sound.
So, basically, how it works as an argument.
Claim and.
I would especially like feedback on that.
>> Okay. Great,
so, we'll give you feedback on your claim and
I think whether the cohesion of the paper, right?
Whether the evidence and
all the ideas are working towards supporting that claim and forwarding it.
Okay great so whenever you are ready, go ahead and start with your title please and
then read aloud and we'll listen.
>> Alright so.
Female activism in India in recent.
Mainstream [INAUDIBLE] female activism.
[INAUDIBLE] in mainstream reading all these actresses or
what the actors damsel in distress, would [INAUDIBLE] action [INAUDIBLE] an action.
According to this study, by [INAUDIBLE] institute on gender and media,
even thinks that I do [INAUDIBLE] as [INAUDIBLE] should [INAUDIBLE].
The study notes that even actresses have even very limited speaking roles.
There are only a handful of women in the recent argument have speaking then
than display activism.
One such rarity is the movie Image day.
Women then marched with 15 with
the mainstream activists on the show not do there.
The eb world image selected for the project is a portion of the film
The movie, centers on the character, Nitah, who is a subject of
the [INAUDIBLE] The actor of the movie dies by being chased by wolves.
[INAUDIBLE] And seeks revenge.
She is the center of the movie, so
it is quite appropriate that she and [INAUDIBLE] aggression and subject.
And that's the purpose of the post.
From being outside [INAUDIBLE] which the [INAUDIBLE] needs to be restored.
Send him a poster [INAUDIBLE] art pieces,
focusing on actors stick in the traditions with the.
Even the team of [INAUDIBLE] collected [INAUDIBLE]
selected poster captures the team of the woman,
who single handedly fixed [INAUDIBLE] society.
And [INAUDIBLE] traditional [INAUDIBLE] especially in the cinema,
as the [INAUDIBLE].
The Bolshevik Anwaju in it's manner of betrayal of an Indian actress.
There are numerous such posters with Indian actors in such black bath,
aggressive and ready to strike form.
But for an Indian actress this is a red mouth wide open and
on the scale of screen up in both hands.
She is a for certified.
Her head is slightly tilted down.
Is usually associated with and
the meaning of this submissive poster has been affirmed.
In her image that aggressive expression and The background is blur so
that her aggressive and the instrument of her aggression are highlighted.
Certain lines give a sense of storm
that show that she's fighting against all odds to seek her revenge.
Her physical state, her showed of hair running dows the side of her face shows
that she's been violated against earlier, and
that her aggression is perhaps in response to that.
Probably including reads actresses dress and carry makeup to look good.
Affirming their prime role of being eye candies.
An Indian actress should always look good,
in respect of the fact that [INAUDIBLE], without make-up and dressed drab.
This process views that to get out of that projected viewing
of actresses as mere sexual objects who should always look good.
In the poster, anoshaga is the of her revenge, an iron rod.
An Iron rod, from Joseph,
the which made it something of a symbol of extreme violence against women.
That's or term than brings down the moderates one after the other.
The and seeks her revenge.
[NOISE] Poster captures the climate of the film when after
being chased from the former killers From the movie to find
it on the site of the seamless main husband to give it that.
From me holding the rock in both her hands as we see her in the poster
she strikes the mothers down one by one.
This one image of Anishka in the revenge seeking form.
Perhaps [INAUDIBLE] not only the 100
year [INAUDIBLE] practices even
when they are in [INAUDIBLE], but
also [INAUDIBLE] expected of them [INAUDIBLE].
Thanks for listening.
>> Thank you.
And you got a round of applause from Genevieve there and
I should also to thank Genevieve for she's a wonderful member of our staff and
she's helping us run this hang out this week.
Okay so, Bowen and Genevieve please also,
could you rate feedback in this writer's workshop?
Let's take 30 seconds, and we'll collect our thoughts for
giving you feedback Deepti, and then we'll provide feedback.
Okay, so whenever we're ready and Bowen I would like to have you start,
if that's okay?
>> Okay.
>> Go ahead.
>> So, first of all I think the time
of this job is there are reasons.
Woman activism in Indian cinema, in the movies.
And I really like how the author
analyzes the Palestine detail.
In I think paragraph five,
mentioned that usually the icon of the woman
reaching down implies submissiveness, or,
you know, that kind of gesture, that composure
is usually associated with submissiveness,
but the meaning of this submissiveness has been
upturned by the image in the image by an aguasic expression and gesture.
So I really like this detailed analysis of it and
in terms of coherence I think the writer had also done very good job.
So I like I liked the writer intervened
her description of the poster, and
her analysis of the poster so that, as a reader,
I would become gradually know more about the,
I gradually know more about the picture,
and I, I am way more convinced of the, about her arguments.
I think she's done a great job.
>> I agree with Bowen.
I think your explication of the evidence.
Oh, we've lost the visual on you Deepti, but you're still there, so
I'm going to keep on talking.
Right? Are you still there?
>> I am.
>> Okay.
I think your explication of the evidence is really strong.
You have offered a detailed explication
of the image and then you talk about the iron rod and
I think you have thought about her position in the picture and
the background and where the focus is and all of that is
really great detailed visual analysis that works toward developing your claim,
which is that this movie is a rarity in depictions
of Indian female, in Indian actresses or female actors.
Because it's aggressive and powerful and
dominant as opposed to the traditional role which has been most often in those
Hindi movies submissive and docile instead.
And I also appreciate that you have connected it to not only
the world of film but also to the larger sociocultural context and
political events that have been happening and so then, it becomes not just
the matter of what movies are staying but, how it reflects cultural behaviors and
practices and traditions and so, that's all really strong.
In terms of the evidence, the one,
the part that I thought you might be able to clarify more is in paragraph
five, which is the paragraph where you refer to typically,
in Hindu movies, actresses dress and carry makeup to look good.
You use that phrase, look good,
several times, and look good can be interpreted in a number of different ways,
and so, as a writer, what you want to do is be as specific as possible in
articulating what you're trying to communicate by that phrase.
So maybe not necessarily look good but I think your point is made up or
premature or whatever with a hair and makeup, that kind of thing.
So I think specify that a little bit more in terms of your evidence.
I really also wanted to point out a couple of the great phrases that you have here.
In the fourth paragraph, the third sentence, where you're talking her mouth.
Mouth wide open, parentheses, we can almost hear her screaming.
Rod tightly held up in both hands to hit down,
she's aggression personified in the image.
I just think that you're being kind of being really assertive and
detailed in your argument there and in the evidence that you're discussing.
You and I were talking a little bit before the hangout started or
official hangout started.
And so you were telling me a little bit more about the background of the movie and
so I do want to suggest that we don't, readers who haven't seen the movie or
aren't familiar with it might not understand the basic
plot until sort of the end you talk about the honor killings and
you said to me earlier that, that was kind of the central part of the movie.
So you might want to include towards the beginning a little bit more of that
background and context so that all readers, those who have seen the movie and
those who haven't,
can kind of be situated within the larger frame of what you're talking about.
And sure, I did have with citation in the third
paragraph it seems like you're focusing on,
are you including quotes there from people about
the use of posters and movie placards.
>> [INAUDIBLE] >> Okay so go ahead and identify,
do they come from one of these that A list of resources that you have at the end or
something else?
>> [INAUDIBLE] >> Okay, so,
go ahead and, it's great to have.
So with citation styles,
generally we think about citation styles as having the in-text.
I-N-T-E-X-T, in-text citations which happen when you actually use
the citation within particular paragraph or sentence or phrase.
So readers need to know at that moment what the source is and
all schools of citation have a version of that.
Sometimes they're footnotes, sometimes it's a parentheses with
the author last name and the date, or the author last name and
the page depending on whether you're using MLA or APA or Turabian or CSE.
So, whichever style you're using, go ahead and make sure you do those in-text
citations so as a reader I know which source that's coming from.
Then you also have the works cited or
the list of resources or bibliography at the end.
So that as I'm reading if I get to that paragraph right I can see
in that paragraph, oh that's from.
Well I'm not sure what source it's from, I can know what source it's from and
then go to the work cited to see more of those details.
And then I wanted to just ask you to, I haven't
read much about film studies but as I was reading your essay,
I kept thinking about the genre of horror films in the US.
And they often will kind of, some criticism and again and
I'm not really well read on it, but some criticism will say that they
are sometimes, there are lot of weak female roles, right in those those films.
But, there are also sometimes roles where
the female characters will vanquish the opponents or come out in the end and yet
still, the female characters are heavily sexualized characters.
And so, I guess I just wanted to, we haven't talked much in the class
about counterarguments or alternative perspectives.
But, I felt like you might address that you are interpreting
this poster in a certain way and I'm not sure but,
I wonder if someone else could interpret the poster in a different way, right?
By saying that it's still is,
she's heavily sexualized in the image too.
And I'm not sure anyone could make as good an argument for that as you have.
But they might be able to, and so
I think addressing some of that a little bit might help your argument.
Or at least acknowledging that it could be interpreted in a different or
why it shouldn't be, perhaps.
>> [INAUDIBLE] Can I add something?
>> Sure, please.
>> So, in the first paragraph the author
introduced the status quo of Indian movies in by saying that.
By citing old study which notes that Indian actresses
have very limited speaking notes.
I read about the role of women
in the American movie scene, and the similar results hold.
I mean, in American movies women tend to be in the movie but they have less lines.
They speak less than men.
So since you already introduced this concept in your first paragraph,
so, an additional analysis of the speaking role
of the woman in this particular movie can be helpful
to strengthen your argument.
In this particular movie this actress has a lot of lines and
the movie itself is focused on her so that might help, I guess.
>> [INAUDIBLE] >> So,
in terms of the criteria for effective claims.
I don't have them on hand right now, in my head.
But they are generally some combination of compelling, contestable,
clear, concise, something like that, connected to the main argument.
But how do you feel about Deepti's claim?
Well, we'll just address this and then we'll turn to your paper in a second.
But how do you feel she did with those criteria for claims?
>> I think with the five criteria, I think
her claim satisfies all those criteria.
I believe so.
>> Okay.
All right, good.
And Genevieve, not to put you on the spot, but did you want to add any responses?
>> Well, Deepti asks a really good question.
[INAUDIBLE] a piece on the portrayal
of women in the media that didn't mention the Bechdel Test?
And maybe that comes from where we are in the United States but that seems to
enter any kind of conversation of whether or not women are talking to one another.
And there are multiple female roles where they don't talk about relationships.
So I thought that was nice.
And I agree with Bowen that a particularly awesome detail
was when you say, her head is angled down.
But inn this particular case it's not a posture of submission.
This particular case, looking at the picture it actually looks like she's
looking down because she's about to hit her enemy who's on the ground.
And let's see, another thing I would have missed is that, that's an iron rod.
I couldn't quite tell what her weapon was from looking at the movie posters so,
I'm really glad you wrote about that.
And added the paragraph on the Delhi rape, that sent chills down my spine.
>> Yeah.
>> And let's see, the only other thought I had,
was that you refer to the character Mira and the actress Anushka.
Kind of interchangeably and I wasn't quite sure why you made those decisions.
It seems like sometimes you really were talking about the character.
So maybe call her Mira when it's something that character's doing and
Anushka when it's something notable about what the actress is doing.
Oh, that's all I have.
>> Thank you so much.
So Deepti do you have any final questions for us before we turned to Bowen's paper?
>> No, I have
[INAUDIBLE].
>> Okay.
All right, well thank you so much, and Bowen and Genevieve,
you guys gave great feedback.
Thank you for that.
So now we're going to turn to Bowen's paper which is on rural electrification.
I always have a hard time pronouncing that word, rural electrification.
So we're thinking about the same criteria but let's first ask you
what would you especially like feedback on Bowen, with this draft?
>> I think because this draft is about technology and
there are some technical terms that might not
be familiar with for many of the readers.
So I just want to know whether I did a good job in explaining those terms so
that anybody without any background in this area would understand this.
Another thing I want to know is about the coherence of this draft because
in order to make somebody understand something, the coherence,
the flow of reasoning is very important so that's what I want to know.
>> Okay, great, all right when you're ready you can start reading and
please start with your title.
>> Okay, so, the title of my draft is The Future of Rural Electrification.
Since the era of Thomas Edison, the power grid has successfully
kept our lives on, at least in many places in the world.
The grid operates so reliably that we have already taken its existence for granted.
An overlooked fact however, is that 1.2 billion people
will continue to lack access to energy by 2030 worldwide,
87% of which where there have been rural areas.
According to reports of international energy agencies.
One of the reasons for the rural areas to remain dark, is about economic efficiency.
To reach the economy of scale [INAUDIBLE] on big a huge size.
They convert a source of energy, fossil fuel, falling water,
wind and sun, a nuclear reactor into electricity.
That electrical power is then transmitted through the transmission and
distribution lines between individual buildings, factories, homes and farms.
If an area is remote enough from the existing power grid and
under populated enough, then it is simply not economic
to build expensive transmissional lines that connect that area.
Admittedly one could get electricity without the power grid,
one can gather his own diesel generator, but
then the transportation of fuels becomes the problem for the mall terrace.
Over the 20th century, the basic system on which the electrical
supply depends the power grid hasn't changed much except in scale.
But recently, with the increasing strivability to harness renewable energy,
a drastic transformation of the power grid is ongoing.
Besides providing cleaner energy to developed areas,
[INAUDIBLE] about technology might be the future of [INAUDIBLE] electrification.
[NOISE] He said she drives a solar panel being started on [INAUDIBLE]
the stonehouse,
in a rural area of India where there had been no access to electricity.
It takes only two people to install such a panel
that easily powers several houses like this.
Renewable energy is generally defined as energy that comes from resources,
which are naturally replenished on the human timescale,
such as sunlight, wind, and tides.
Apart from being clean and free, renewable energy resources exist over
wide geographical areas in contrast to other energy resources,
which are concentrated and in a limited number of countries.
In addition, it's much easier for
renewable technologies to reach economy of scale.
Just imagine a rooftop solar photovoltaic panel for a small sized wind turbine.
It all comes down to mining.
Today, the cost of cogeneration is two rupees per kilowatt hour
compared to microhydro at 4.5 rupees biomass at five rupees,
wind at 12 rupees, solar at 18 rupees.
This may appear to be the most cost effective source, however,
from the cost of infrastructure, maintenance, distribution and
grid line extensions, I included, coal is no longer cost competitive.
With microhydro or biomass for
areas five kilometers, approximately three miles from the grid
when you move ten kilometers or six miles from the grid.
Crow is no longer competitive with main, and a mere 15 kilometers or
ten miles it is no longer competitive with solar.
The simple calculation strongly supports the female's ability of renewable
energy as a choice for rural electrification, indeed, renewable
energy projects in many developing countries have demonstrated this point.
Renewable energy can directly contribute to poverty reduction by
providing the energy needed for creating business and employment.
Renewable energy technologies can make indirect contributions to alleviating
poverty by providing energy for cooking, space heating, and lighting.
Renewable energy can also contribute to education
by providing electricity to schools.
Exactly what our atrification needs by the availability of every resource,
competitive cost, and grid ability.
People in those rural areas have age of electrification the last century
when the have powerplants, transmission and distribution line were built.
Nevertheless this is a granny next door who happily serves internet, fire,
and mobile phone despite having missed initial proliferation of internet
into user unfriendly personal computers, rural areas can and
will enjoy the benefits of electrification through renewable energy.
>> Thank you.
Thank you.
So let's take 30 seconds and then we'll give you some feedback.
We'll collect our
thoughts for
feedback, okay?
Okay, so Deepti your video is temporarily out, are you still there?
>> I'm still here.
>> Okay, there you are, you're back.
>> [INAUDIBLE] [CROSSTALK]
>> Hello, hello.
>> Hi, can you hear us Deepti?
>> Yeah.
>> Okay well we can't see you right now but
we can definitely hear you if you talk loudly.
So do you want to start us off by giving us some feedback?
>> Yeah sure.
[INAUDIBLE] You have you will explain
the others removal of energy.
And maybe at the end of the passage you
will have the role for what did famine and
small size the [INAUDIBLE]
>> [INAUDIBLE]
>> [INAUDIBLE]
>> Additional for this at the all right.
I really like the ring that was which started the first paragraph.
If we are talking about the invention of electricity and then bring up
the contrast about the availability of the distant and compatible role.
So, I really liked how you started that passage [INAUDIBLE]
and talking about argument.
I think food, water, basically agriculture, [INAUDIBLE] is
the importance of renewable energy, especially for electrifying rural areas.
So, I think that, maybe if you use renewal energy,
that will sort of highlight what you're trying to say in the text.
Maybe some part of the [INAUDIBLE] contain the renewable energy,
because I think that is an essential part of the text.
Again as to the argument, you have made a good argument.
A lot of evidence is used, being justified.
Why areas need a network energy.
And how we've done that is in paragraph seven, we've actually
calculations about how cost effective renewable energy resources can be.
I just want to check, are you able to listen?
I mean.
>> Sorry?
>> So.
>> I just missed that last sentence there.
I couldn't understand what you were saying, Deepti, try again.
>> Come the distant from that.
>> Hm.
>> You were trying to confirm that we were hearing you?
>> Yeah because. [INAUDIBLE]
>> Yeah so, Von,
were you able to catch her feedback from before, or were you not?
Did you hear what she was suggesting?
>> Not all of them so.
>> Okay, let me see if I, Deepti, let me see if I got,
your voice is going in and out a little bit.
So what I heard you say is that
you thought that the key term of the essay was renewable energy and
maybe if he included that more concretely, right,
in certain paragraphs, that that might come out more throughout the whole paper.
And then >> Okay.
>> That's exactly what I said, and that was my suggestion to him.
>> And then you also pointed out in paragraph, one, two, three, four, five,
in paragraph six, at the end where, Bowan, you used the term
rooftop solar photo voltaic panel, that was one
example where maybe the technical terms were, could maybe use some explanation.
Is that right, Deepti?
>> Yes, yeah, sure.
And after that I started talking about the argument now,
text is arguing about renewable energy.
Should I continue with that?
>> Yes, go ahead.
>> So, he makes a good case about justifying the use of
renewable energy sources for electrifying rural areas, and
in passage six he gives us a good definition about why as a source.
So that's a good sort of evidence that is used there.
And so, in a way, really.
A simple argument is made and a good evidence is used for that.
One thing I use of image in the article.
Actually, there is pretty limited description and analysis,
and I would say, overall engagement with the image.
So I think paragraph five is when your picture is sort of described.
So it's pretty relevant to renewable energy,
that we are interacting with the page, but perhaps,
maybe, there should be, since this project is about image analysis,
perhaps there should be more, I think,
analysis as description of the image that is being used.
That can be improved.
All right.
And as you might learn the last of passage about this granny
who have really done axes over here and would do said
renewed it and began what renewable energy can do for religions.
I feel like that's where we are so.
[NOISE] >> Thank you, Deepti.
I agree, just to think of a last part, too.
I, when I read your line about the just as the granny
next door who happily surfs the Internet, I smiled.
And I wondered for a second.
I was like, I don't know, maybe he should write grandma, or
grandmother, or grandfather.
I'm not sure, but anyways, I liked it, and I think it's good.
It's more minutes.
It drives your point home though, right?
That the cell phone enabled people to find ways of reaching the Internet,
even if they hadn't already gotten the internet from before.
And I also very much agree with Deepti's point about the analysis and
description of the photograph.
So, in Deepti's paper, in her draft, we saw really deep analysis of the image and
so, I think, if you can include some of that, too,
as springboard for each of your paragraphs for evidence, I think that would help
makes the image have a really sensual role in your argument.
>> I have an idea for that.
>> Mm-hm. >> You mentioned that one of the benefits
of, we talked portable For that can be installed with just two people.
>> Yes?
>> And there are two people in your photograph.
So that would be a really easy way to incorporate your image.
Also, it's pretty clear from the photo that they're in a rural area.
But, maybe, if you did some more research into where, or
what kind of a rural area it is.
You could also talk about the building materials of the house
signifying something about what's available to them.
I don't know.
I just, I think there's a lot there that could help your-
>> You raise a good point.
For example, if I can get more details about where the place is,
I can view that as an example and integrate that with my analysis.
For example, how far away is that village, in particular,
from the electro grid, and whether it is economical.
Efficient to do so to connect it [INAUDIBLE] solar panel.
And I think you raise a good point there, thank you.
>> Oh, and you can see from the image URL that it's in Colorado I just noticed.
>> Okay, yeah.
I mean, [INAUDIBLE].
>> [INAUDIBLE].
>> So that means that might be a moment where you say,
although this image is in Colorado, right?
They have also been developing the solar panels in more rural places worldwide.
>> [INAUDIBLE] the text [INAUDIBLE] here.
>> Yeah, or you might end up discovering that you want to find an image
of solar panel installation from a rural village in India, right?
Might be more an image that fits your argument a little bit better.
>> Yes.
>> Sorry doctor Kuman twice in the thing I thing have been interpreting.
>> Pardon me Tuti?
>> Yeah your voice isn't clearing my being so do something about it?
>> Oh sorry.
I couldn't get your question, sorry.
>> Deepti's question, or my question?
>> Deepti's question.
>> Oh, Deepti, go ahead.
>> In a question, I've just said that, Dr. Comer's devices employ a potential under.
Oh, [INAUDIBLE] said in-
>> I think she,
because when Genevieve gets her [INAUDIBLE].
>> [INAUDIBLE]. >> Room here at [INAUDIBLE].
So she and I have to mute our microphones.
So that was also.
I was just saying.
Then what Bowen might end up discovering to do or figuring
out to do because Genevieve pointed out this photograph is actually from Colorado.
It might serve your argument better to find an image
of solar panel installation from a rural village in India.
because you mentioned India in particular or
anywhere else in the world that's rural too.
Maybe there's a place in Colorado that's a very rural place too,
there are places off the grid in the US also.
I wanted to point at paragraph seven.
>> Okay.
>> And since we're thinking about visual analysis we can also think
about the visuality of our writing more generally.
And I wondered if this place may not be a really good opportunity for
a table of some kind as a way of presenting the comparison of
the cost of various kinds of technologies in a table fashion.
So that readers like, might be a nice way, I got a little bit,
I was concentrating on the numbers and the technology at the same time and so, since
I'm not in the field of renewable energy, it was taking me a little bit more.
I was slower on that paragraph than the others.
So a table might actually help.
I also wondered if we were thinking about counterarguments in Deepti's paper.
And I also wondered if there are arguments about
the feasibility of solar panels too and maybe you could at least acknowledge that.
There is cost associated with transporting or developing or
manufacturing the solar panels.
And I know its only two people as opposed to paying an entire utility company.
So it might be less but it's also still there are costs, right,
so maybe talk about the costs of solar panels.
>> Okay.
>> You had talked earlier about costs related
to establishing a of itself.
So maybe there you can mention briefly about how much cost is really.
because we have solar panels connect
there connected there.
>> Okay. >> Mm-hm.
>> And I'll echo also something that Deepti said earlier too.
I like your beginning since the era of Thomas Edison.
So you're kind of capturing readers' interest with something that's sort of
familiar, or at least vaguely, familiar to many people.
And that's a good way in there.
So, I think those are most of my thoughts.
Do Deepti or Genevieve, do you have anything else to add?
No?
>> I might say one thing.
We were talking about anticipating criticism?
And you do that in your third paragraph, the one that's only two sentences.
Admittedly, one could get electricity without the power grid.
One can get his own diesel generator, but
then the transportation of fuel becomes the new problem for remote areas.
So I like the way that you give a nod to the opposition, and you say well,
I guess technically renewable energy is not the only way to get it there.
But the fact, that you pull that out and
make it its own paragraph, really draws attention.
And if I were giving a nod to the opposition,
I'd try to bury it in another paragraph so that it's not front and center.
So that my argument stands out more than my anticipation of a counterargument.
>> Okay. >> But.
>> That's good.
So you would suggest having it kind of within another paragraph or?
>> Uh-huh. >> Okay.
And I was just reading an article.
You all can look it up in the New Yorker.
And I don't know if it's the most recent one.
It's maybe within the past two months.
But they have an article about solar panels
and power companies in particular.
And it, of course, has its own argument.
Have you read that article?
>> No, I haven't, but I'll definitely check it out.
>> Yeah, look at that, because that might also give you.
It's very much about the US, so it talks about Vermont.
There's a power company in Vermont.
And then they compare it to a power company in Arizona, and different actions
they're taking with a solar panel company and what the implications are.
But anyways, there might be some material there that you'll find helpful.
>> Okay, so we are beyond our time of 1 to 2.
And so, I did just want to,
if you could bear with me just another couple of minutes, maybe one minute.
Is after workshopping and this is what we're doing in the course is
after we provide feedback to others we think about.
What we learned from providing feedback and also, in this case,
from receiving feedback.
So if each of you could just take 30 seconds and write down for
yourself one or two things that, takeaways, about writing or
about this project that you want to really remember based on our workshop.
And then I'll ask you to share verbally just one of them.
So we can think about the way that we can all as writers
transfer what we've learned from one workshop to other writing occasions.
So, just take 30 seconds and write down a couple of workshop takeaways for
you as a writer.
Okay, so is anyone ready to share one
thing that they got in particular?
>> Okay, my takeaway is analysis of your image.
And it would be even better if you can integrate it, the description and
analysis, with your evidence that you use to support your claim.
>> Great, thank you.
Deepti? >> Yeah,
I'm >> In land we have there for
citation that's including there within the citation.
So we are really confident about our problems in citing intakes,
how things do for a fine cycle that state so
that was something I wanted to look into and both form and
function doing that >> Okay, great.
Thank you.
Genevieve, did you write something to ask here, or you're busy doing other stuff?
>> I made a notes that, so I have a confession,
I haven't actually done this assignment >> But
I thought the focus was going to be on extricating all the details and an image.
And what I got from both of your drafts was that it's really a lot for convincing.
If you draw on some crucial details that you noticed about an image, but
always connected back to a bigger way.
>> [NOISE] Okay thank you.
And for me I, what this work shop sparked for me is really thinking
about alternative perspectives, and where to include them.
And how much to include them and when to include them and that all of that really
>> Plays a role in how effective our
argument is or how broadly applicable our argument is.
So thank you all so much for participating in this workshop,
and those of you who've been watching live, or
who will watch the recorded version, good luck with your own drafts and revisions.
And Deepti and Bowen, I just want to especially again say thank you for
sharing your writing.
You have to have courage to share your writing.
And so, I applaud you for doing that.
So thank you so much.
And good luck with your revisions.
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