The next set of lessons are about Guiding Values
and Bottom-up Innovation or what it takes.
One lesson is about EQ and IQ -- Emotional Quotient and Intelligence Quotient.
This is the domain of EQ.
IQ is about what to do; EQ is about how to get it done.
And so there are a variety of issues in EQ, such as not politicizing,
not personalizing, not posturing, and also not being cynical.
For example, posturing is a particularly counterproductive aspect here
because of the power difference.
So one of the things that should be avoided is to somehow posture as somebody
who knows more and so on.
So why are these elements very important here?
Part of it is about sustained identity,
and this identity comes out in a lot of social interactions.
A lot of our actions that are observable involve social relationships,
and so here EQ plays a very central role as well.
EQ is also about our own flexibility.
It's also about our own development
and learning to essentially negotiate the space by taking the high road,
learning to negotiate the space by showing emotional understanding and so on.
This is part of the flexibility that we have to develop in ourselves as well.
EQ provides the common denominator for fair play,
and this is something that every human being understands.
Are you being fair to me?
Can I trust you?
And so on.
And so EQ is very important in these settings,
and these settings are a very good way to develop our own EQ.
Under the lesson in guiding values is to do your best and accept the worst.
And in fact, the two may coexist.
Because of so many things beyond people's control,
very often the outcome can be quite diametrically opposite what was intended.
For example, empowering women may lead to resentment among men,
or taking our educational program forward may fail in the face of much larger issues,
like water problems and so on.
Doing your best and accepting the worst can also happen in the course of relationships
where people are focused on their immediate and are trying to survive.
Very often, something that is well-intended
may lead to a very opposite reaction due to people's circumstances.
And it's important to take the big picture into account in these settings.
A related lesson is to take the high road and once you do that, to stay there.
This is related to EQ.
This is related to a perspective that doing your best can coexist with very bad outcomes.
Taking the high road is fundamentally about sustaining one's identity.
Taking the high road is about the actions that we do,
and those speak louder than anything else.
This means digging deeper.
This means being flexible as well and that this is part of our own development,
and as a result of this, we are going to be better as well as human beings.
A related lesson is when going through adversity, to be even more thoughtful of others.
Our own adversities that remind us of the magnitude
of the adversities of people living in poverty.
It is indeed a different order of magnitude,
and it's very important to keep that in mind and to get perspective from it.
And not only to get perspective from the point of view of feeling that we are better off,
but also going to the next step
and thinking about how we are going to use our good fortune to help others as well.
So a number of our initiatives took off during such times,
and that's something to think about as well --
that we don't stop doing our work for others despite the adversities that we go through.
And also, taking perspective in terms of how our own adversities can pale in significance
when compared to the adversity of the people we work with.
We have the resources often to address our own adversities,
but that's not the case for people who are living in poverty.
A common theme running through these lessons is the next lesson,
which is to go to the next level of understanding; to peel the onion;
to try to understand the cultural norms;
to try to understand what is rational in these settings;
to try to understand why people do what they do;
rather than stare at the surface level, to try to dig for a deeper explanation.
That's part of peeling the onion as well.
This is also true in human relationships.
We may go in with a middle or an upper class mentality
and assume that people have the dimensions and the resources that we have.
And we may interpret their behavior in certain ways,
in light of our own background and our own certainties.
And this is where it's important to peel the onion
and try to dig for the next level of understanding.
This is not a substitute for taking firm action when needed,
but the idea here is to understand from the eyes of the people living in poverty.
And that, for me certainly, is a leap,
and I'm trying to bridge that leap by going to the next layer of the onion as well.
I assume certain things.
I assume a certain level of education.
I assume a middle or an upper class.
And I have to essentially hold those things out
and try to go to the next level in terms of why people do what they do.
Another lesson that runs through a lot of the previous lessons is simply
that if you get over yourself, you can see and experience a lot.
If we can get over our own egos and if we can be humble
and look to learn and develop ourselves, there is so much that we can learn.
That can be accomplished because we get over ourselves
and our own barriers and our own baggage as well.
The next lesson is that what you do matters more than what you say you will do,
think you should do, like to do, or want to do.
Actions speak louder than anything else, and it is so important to enact.
This does not mean that we just dive into action.
We certainly do it based on a lot of understanding,
but actions can create a ripple effect.
They essentially teach us about implementation.
They develop a reputation for us, through word of mouth and so on.
Actions during very urgent circumstances also sustain our identity;
how we behave in urgent situations really say a lot about us,
and those actions are very important as well
because they feed into the sustained identity
that has been emphasized a lot in previous lessons.
The next lesson is that if one relationship is dispensable,
then all relationships are dispensable, or viewing individuals not as resources
but as people to develop and to realize their potential.
If indeed, any relationship is considered dispensable,
what does it say about me or my organization?
This is part of our bottom-up journey.
We value the relationships.
We have built on these relationships.
We just completed the 100th education program in a village,
and we did not know that this village existed a little over six years ago.
So essentially, all of this is based on relationships,
and the foundation for those relationships are our sustained identity.
That's all we really have.
And that's how we have tried to build our program, one relationship at a time.
I'm reminded of a call one night from my team leader
when a cyclone hit the city of Chennai and neighboring villages.
Villagers were to travel to meet my students the next morning,
and my team leader said that it's dangerous for them to do so.
And my spontaneous response was that they should not be travelling.
We can interview our hotel employees.
We can do something else but there is no way that they should put themselves in danger.
Now this is really not that big a deal.
This is what anyone should be expected to do.
And my point is not that this was something special to do or anything.
But I did wonder later on that if I spoke from the heart
and this was the outcome, what does it say about me if I had paused
and argued, or if I reached my conclusion slowly because of my goal
of having the students meet the villagers?
What if my response was not spontaneous?
What does it say to my team leader about me?
What does it say to my team leader when he faces adversity?
I'm not trying to strategize this issue,
but I'm just trying to emphasize how being spontaneous, being overstrategizing,
viewing each relationship as indispensable are also important in our endeavor.
Another lesson is that this arena is about intertwined destinies, not replaceable parts.
One of our visitors commented on how we've hired very good people in one
of the geographies that we work in.
Actually, that's diametrically opposite to the way we view things.
This is really about growing up together
and thinking about our intertwined destinies rather
than hiring people and viewing them as replaceable parts.
Now suddenly, as a matter of practice,
there are people who may not continue to work with us
and we transition them out with full concern for them and their families.
But we approach things as really growing up together.
So we approached a number of things and we approach our professional relationships
in terms of our intertwined destinies in trying to create something together.
And that's a very important difference than viewing people as replaceable parts.
Another lesson is to be aware of your position and power
and the lack of it for those whom we work with.
Now, I have to say, self-serving as it may be,
that in 15 years of working in South India, for example,
I have never told a team member that they don't know and I know.
Think about it.
I'm a professor.
I have the highest intellectual status,
and I'm working with people who don't even have a formal education.
If I were to come out and say this, it is really an abuse of power.
And, how do I expect people who have been told something like this to then turn around
and give me insights when I need them?
They're going to be afraid of being scolded or put in their place.
That is exactly what we should not be doing.
In fact, at times, people have told me that I don't know, which is absolutely fine.
I really did not.
But me responding in kind is a very bad idea.
Another lesson is to view people not based on where they are in life
but how far they have come and the terrain that they have traveled through.
So gauge someone based on not where they are in life
but how far they've had to travel to get there.
This is a very good perspective-taking exercise.
In the end, the people I work with have traveled much farther in life
than I have, when you consider where they began.
And so this is a way to stay humble as well,
and these are one of our guiding values as well.
Another lesson is to nurture leadership among those who have not had a chance.
I remember somebody who made a comment whether leaders are born or made and so on.
Frankly, that's really a middle or an upper class sentiment.
What do I mean by that?
Well, once you have had the basic chances in life,
we can choose to do a variety of different things.
That means that we have a minimum threshold in life,
and then we can talk about whether a trait is born or it has developed and so on.
But that's not the case with the people whom we work with.
So much of where they are in life is a result of chance; it's purely random.
And so the issue of whether they were born with leadership
or they develop leadership is really not that germane.
In many cases, it's a combination of random events that brings them to an opportunity.
And yes, there may be some inherent traits that lead them to be better leaders,
but so much of it is about how they adapt to the circumstances.
Another lesson is to avoid a mentality
of "I cannot do this without you" or "You cannot do this without me".
This is a mentality you will often see because people lack power and they look up
and would like to think that nothing can happen without you.
And every time I'm complimented in those terms,
I turn around and say the feeling is mutual, because it really is.
The fact that I'm fortunate enough to have the power and the resources does not mean
that I'm the reason why things happen.
It's so important to emphasize again and again and again
and every opportunity that the feeling is mutual,
that things happen because we work together,
people at the bottom of society and people like myself.
And so that's another lesson to keep in mind as well.